GLOOM AT ST VIGNOLE'S

ST VIGNOLE’S RELEGATED!
HAGUE’S NECK ON THE LINE!

A deep cloud of despondency hung over St Vignole’s last night as they crashed out of the Happiness League following a dramatic last minute penalty miss by captain Les Kild.
Distraught fans placed the blame firmly at the door of manager Clint Hague. “He’s useless” said a fan’s spokesman. “This is the third club that has been relegated under his management and we’ve had enough”.
Recent rumours that one of the clubs leading players has been in talks with a top French club have further embittered fans.
Controversy has been the hallmark of the club ever since Clint Hague took over at the club. His abrupt management style upset many of the clubs long term players, resulting in a mass exodus. Hague further annoyed fans by imposing a ban on fans taking home match programmes after games, threatening legal action against anyone caught doing so.
Many fans, including many season ticket holders, have voted with their feet and can now be seen supporting other West London clubs. One of them told the ‘Globe’ “Who wants to see your team playing in the Sad League? St Vignole’s was always a top four club until Hague showed-up. In a couple of seasons the club has become a joke, except no-ones laughing”.
When questioned about Hauge’s future with the club, billionaire chairman, Braiin Na Gibrish, said “ The board are 122% behind him. He’s the best man for the job and people should stop moaning. So what the clubs been relegated? Sometimes the best way forward is back. We’ve got a good man and we’re keeping him”.
Support for Hague has also come from other quarters with a spokesman from the Suite FA saying “Too many managers are being judged by ill-informed and ignorant people with axes to grind. The Suite FA will defend and support Clint Hague against any challenges from fans”.

In the meantime it would appear that Hague intends to continue. Immediately after last nights match he issued a statement stating that the clubs colours would be changing and that fans would be asked to make suggestions. “Of course he added, they’ll only be suggestions, the decision will be mine alone”.
With the summer transfer window opening for new signings, St Vignoles is not expected to be announcing any major new acquisitions. Many good players have been put-off signing for the club since Hague arrived, although word is about that Tim Hick, a 46 year old amputee and former dominoes champion, is considering putting on a boot to join the club. “If I can get a game once in a while I’ll be as happy as Larry” he told the ‘Globe’ “Let’s face it” he said. “When you’re bottom, every leg helps”